Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
