Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
