I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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