Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize