I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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