im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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