You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
