oh god the rape fog is back!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
