apparently the secret to your success is patron
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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