I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
