I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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