Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
