Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
smell my finger.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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