so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
