this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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