Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was like his penis was on wheels.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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