I wish I could punch you in the face.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He kissed a someone with a penis
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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