i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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