I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
