I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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