You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
