i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
