He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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