Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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