if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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