BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
