Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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