the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
