No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
