i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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