so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
