If i come over, it means nothing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
