I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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