i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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