sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
