Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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