I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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