I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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