Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
