He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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