I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
