is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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