Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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