i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
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I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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