Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
