you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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