I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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