Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
