everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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