good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
