U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
