2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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