the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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