I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize