I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
