somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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